Dan's Review: "Gods of Egypt" a forgettable spectacle
Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and Brenton Thwaites in Gods of Egypt - © 2015 - Lionsgate
Gods of Egypt (Summit/Lionsgate)
Rated PG-13 for fantasy violence and action, and some sexuality.
Starring Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Brenton Thwaites, Gerard Butler, Elodie Yung, Chadwick Boseman, Courtney Eaton, Rufus Sewell, Geoffrey Rush, Bryan Brown, Emma Booth, Abbie Lee, Yaya Deng.
Written by Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless.
Directed by Alex Proyas.
It’s a shame when someone puts a lot of effort into a movie with grand special effects and epic scenery, only to have your film thrown in the dustbin of forgettable cinema. These are movies like the recent Clash of the Titans series, Scorpion King, Percy Jackson, etc. that cost a lot money and perhaps made a little money, but are soon forgotten. Sometimes, being forgettable is worse than being epically awful, because if a film is really bad, it has a chance at cult following from cinematic masochists, like Rocky Horror Picture Show fans. Is Gods of Egypt one of those movies that look epic, but one that you won’t remember in six months?
Gods of Egypt is based on Egyptian myth/lore, with giant gods interacting with so-called “ancient” humans. One of the gods is Horus (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau), son of King Osiris (Brian Brown). At his Horus’ coronation ceremony, Osiris’ brother Set (Gerard Butler) crashes the party, kills his brother and rips out his nephew’s all-seeing eyes, keeping them for souvenirs. A human thief named Bek (Brenton Thwaites) and his girlfriend Zaya (Courtney Eaton) vow to help Horus get his eyes and power back, since Set has enslaved the humans to build his newfound kingdom. When Zaya is killed while helping Bex steal plans to Set’s vault where Horus’ eyes are hidden (don’t worry, there’s an after-life element to the story, so no spoiler here), Bek finds the blinded god and makes a deal to get his eyes back if he will resurrect his beloved Zaya. The unlikely pair set out on an adventure to bring Set down with the assistance of other gods like Horus’ old flame Hathor (Elodie Yung) and Thoth (Chadwick Boseman). Horus also pays a visit to his grandpa Ra (Geoffrey Rush) in the heavens looking for guidance. Horus and Bex eventually get into an epic battle with Set, where a young king must chose between revenge and friendship.
Gods of Egypt is one of those forgettable, epic movie failures. It is full of special effects, giant monsters and spectacular (CG) scenery. It has tons of action. It has really attractive actors. What it doesn’t have is a story that makes any sense, a script that is interesting nor characters that you care about. It’s also a little weird.
Some of the performances seem like the actors were going for something campy, but ended up with something out of dinner theater (especially Chadwick Boseman, whose effeminate delivery as a narcissist god of wisdom grates on your senses).
If you do end up paying any money to see Gods of Egypt, you might be entertained by all the special effects and action, but you will not remember that you actually saw the film in six months.
I’m starting to forget it already.
Gods of Egypt Trailer